What do our politicians drink?

written Michael Oudyn

Francois Rabelais, the bawdy 16th century satirical novelist and wine philosoGeorge-Bush-Toastpher says “When I think, I drink.  When I drink I think.” (read previous post)   Well, sometimes when I drink, I think about drinking.  Okay “thinking” may be a bit glorified. “Idle speculation”?

Anyway, the Alabama pornographic-wine-label bruhaha (read previous post)  and a nice merlot from St. Emilion got me and some friends “thinking” about wine drinking and politics.  Hubert de Montille,the Burgundy winemaker and one of the salt-of-the-earth heroes of the great wine documentary/ melodrama “Mondovino”  came up.  This free thinker, when not stubbornly standing up to the evil forces of wine one-worldism, is a bit of a philosopher; “Wine goes hand-in-hand with progressive societies.”  And he seems to have a point, at least here in the USA. It turns out that the more wine a state puts away, the more Democratic it votes. See Karen Mac Neil’s Wine Bible, p.629.  (Yes, Alabama, we too have our sacred texts.). The blue states tend to top the chart, the swing states are somewhere in the middle, the red states at the dregs of the barrique.  Okay, super-conservative Idaho does actually tops the list and increasingly progressive Iowa is near the bottom, but the pattern is clear.  The deep hidden meaning I will leave to your own grape-inspired speculations.

Anyway, our jolly group of progressive tipplers were musing about what famous politicians might drink.  Good Democrats all we saw our intelligent, civilized prez and first lady sitting down to a mellow merlot or pinot noir with
dinner.  Soon I began seeing Dick Cheney hunchbacked over a double bloody Mary, a bit of the red oozing from his snarling barracuda jaw.  Another saw the Bush twins giggling into  pink Dakaris.   One thing was becoming obvious: “When I think I drink, when I drink I think” will inevitably get you into a serious continous loop.  But not an infinite one.  Sooner or later the loop will crash, and not exactly from overdoing the thought side of it.  Which brought us to George W. Bush.  What did our ex commander-in-chief down during his boozing daze, we wondered?  We speculated our “good ole boy” probably grew to eschew Gin Tonics and dry Martinis: too effete prep-school elite; too close to home.  And he probably avoided decent wine: too “Brie and Chablis” liberal.  The smart money, we finally agreed, would be on beer and Bourbon, a real man’s drink.  There was however a healthy debate on what he got up to once blotto.  Some saw him getting stupidly goofy, babbling incoherently, and finally passing out: a clear foreshadowing of his press conferences.  Others saw him getting stupidly belligerent, babbling incoherently, and finally inviting anyone under half his size who dared smile at his simpletonisms to step into the back ally: a clear foreshadowing of his foreign policy.


One Response to “What do our politicians drink?”

  1. Nata Says:

    When Mr. George W, Bush, visited my GEORGIA country of wine (Georgian viticulture are between 7000 and 5000 BC) he asked for COCA -COLA with Georgian food….sounds like : Can i have a glass of chardonnay and double BIG MAC pls..)):

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